I am now aware of the blog Christian Kinnersley has created (thanks Lucy D). It is a beauty of a site, all snark intended. I love that he included a photo of his “very attractive sister” (as he calls her), and his sister wife in the first post. He knows no other women alors bien sûr use the only women he can to drive home his campaign. It’s like Donald Trump taking a photo with Kanye West to prove he’s not a racist. 

The accusations being levied against me are amazing. “Identity theft, credit card fraud, revenge porn, violent threats, blackmail, and a litany of harassment, abuse and defamation offenses”. I hope America has some kind of special I need to extend my stay to (ab)use your justice system type of visa because this is going to take longer than 90 days. 


Taking this to court… talk about embarrassing. As if the justice system doesn’t have more pressing matters to attend to. I’m curious to know how he came up with such ballsy yarns. The cease and desist Christian’s lawyer sent was something. The lawyer I selected says it is not something he’s ever seen before. He called it a blackmail letter, written by someone who doesn’t know anything about defamation law. Frankly he was shocked, and a little bemused. It might be expensive but sometimes you need a high powered defamation lawyer to sit you down and calmly explain things. I was perturbed, but he made me feel better. I guess you can’t put a price on that. 


Fun fact, during Christian’s birthday weekend in December 2018, his boss at Dalmore Capital was winding him up over text. He didn’t like that they were having a go, so in reply he wanted to send them a picture of penis. A photo. To prove that he was the Alpha. I had to talk him down from that because he had planned to send a photo of his dick (and me obscured), and I wasn’t here for that. You don’t send a photo of your penis to your boss or your coworkers. Now I wish I had let him hang himself and send it. I’m sure that little episode is documented somewhere in our text message history. 


Not to mention the fact that he actively posts photos and videos of himself on Reddit. I’m curious to know how one can argue ‘revenge porn’ when his photos were posted by him. Christian loves sending his penis to everyone. I have numerous texts of him asking if the person I’m talking to him about; my boss, my friends, my mother, has “seen ‘Beast’ yet”. 


He even included it in his C&D. I’m sure he got a kick out of that, that whole law firm ogling his penis. He loves to know people, especially men, have seen photos of it. He loves to show people photos of it. You know how people like to swipe through their phones showing photos of their kids? That’s how Christian is with pictures of his penis. You don’t post photos of your dick on public forums for years because you’re a modest wallflower. 


And this isn’t about kink shaming. He’s an exhibitionist or whatever, and he’s entitled to his sexual proclivities. I’ve never judged him for that. I accepted everything about him, even his most negative traits, of which I didn’t consider that one. My issue comes from pretending to be something you’re not, and in doing so painting someone as mentally unfit because you can’t own your truth. I don’t lie, and I don’t throw people under the bus to save my own ass. I’m a ‘come what may’ so I’ll take my licks, and ‘screw anyone who doesn’t like me’ type. I take accountability. 


As for Google policies, Google requires a court order to remove search results. He has been using Europe’s Right to Be Forgotten law to remove any links. You fill out a form and they remove the links without moderation. Pretty soon the UK will no longer be apart of Europe so he wont be entitled to use that and will have to go through things the old fashioned way: a court order. The problem is defamation only occurs when something is a lie, and unfortunately for him it isn’t. 


It really is so Johnny Depp of him. Much like Shia Le Beouf, he wouldn’t take accountability. He wanted to gaslight me so I put my thoughts and feelings in black and white. Unlike Burnett, who wanted to warn other people, I wasn’t interested in other people, or what they thought, I wanted Christian to stop manipulating me and telling me I imagined it all. When our relationship ended his narrative became that it was all in my head. I wanted him to stop painting me as a mad woman, insane from “an awful breakup”, of, according to him, a ‘short relationship’ (we met May 21, 2018, our relationship ended April 29, 2020). His behaviors are not “all in my head”. I’m not a “liar”, intent on “ruining his life”. I didn’t make it up to “destroy him”.


It’s probably hard for most people to understand this, but I have 25GB of ‘history’ between us. The thing about a long distance relationship is that an amazing amount of it takes place through text, phone, FaceTime, videos, and pictures. It’s insane to realize this, but probably 75-80% of everything that occurred in our relationship is documented and archived in “the Cloud”. We talked from wake to sleep, every hour of the day. You could relive every single day of the two years we were together through our message history alone. It’s mind boggling in some ways, but from an anthropological point of view it’s a perfectly preserved account of a relationship between two people. This relationship wasn’t made up out of thin air. 


Christian, his twin Henry Kinnersley, and no doubt his girlfriend Rebecca Pearce have been reporting my blog to Blogger. My blog is no longer hosted by them. I have already touched upon that in a previous post. Blogger reinstated my post because it did not violate their policies, but he keeps reporting it. I see “Google Admin Corp” in Dublin and Hyderabad look over my site.


I can’t even with the rest of the accusations because I don’t know where or how he came up with them. It was mortifying going to so many lawyers explaining this “case” to them. I talked to 14 defamation attorneys, and each of them were pretty confounded that someone would press this. 


I’m curious to see how this plays out. Hypothetically. I have no interest in actually going through with any of this. But I have asked my attorney if he will subpoena everyone Christian knows, his internet records, his Reddit history, his message history from every form of social media, every single thing in his life, to all be gone through with a fine toothed comb, and put on the record. I told him that he should really go for it. 


I’ll ask that Christian pay for it in a counter suit because I will take advantage of that option. If there is a positive to all of this it’s that it would ensure I can get my belongings back that he kept. What he wants with two large suitcases of my lingerie and dresses is anyone’s guess. Perhaps he thinks he got one over on me by withholding them. Tit for tat and childish antics.


This is going to be a long and expensive mess. I hope he enjoys this farce because that’s what this is: a farce. It’s not even first world problems. It’s what narcissists with too much money do when their ego is bruised. I hope it bites him. 


I am just hoping that at the end of all of it I can finally be vindicated. I don’t mind the cost if it will, at the very least, be some higher power reaffirming what happened. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’m tired of being painted as mad or criminal. As someone who doesn’t lie, being called a liar, and having to prove it, can drive you a bit mad. I wasn’t ‘crazy’ until I had to prove my innocence against the tellings of a liar. 


I won’t be writing any more about the process on the advice of lawyers. I will no doubt craft something when it’s all said and done. My life has always been an open book, I have always written about it, this is just something else to add to that. At least that’s what I tell myself to get through this: it makes for a good story. Except Norman Mailer didn’t have to go through this when he used his ex wife for Tropic of Cancer.